The Pictures of Harry Potter
by chocolaolic
Summary: I decided to turn this into a serie of crossover with Harry Potter! Beware! Slash! The chapter 7 is a crossover HP/Black Butler. It sort of follow the other oneshot Xover HP X BB and had the same paring...With a little twist.
1. HarryHiruma Eyeshield21

Disclamer: Don't own Harry Potter nor Eyeshield 21.

« Well, What do you want Hiruma-SAN ? »Asked Harry impatiently.

For fifteen minutes straight, Hiruma had stared unblinkingly at him and he was doing that since Harry had meet him a month ago whilst shopping.

He had learnt since then that Hiruma was even worse than Voldemort, he was the Devil himself.

The Devil, as Harry had taken to call him, was smirking down at him as putted a hand near Harry's head to lean over the wall.

« Go out with me ,princess. » He answered like always.

« No! Now go away !!! » He replied as usual.

« I wouldn't say that if I were you. I have some photos of you that you wouldn't like anyone to see. »

Now, that, that was unusual. Normally he would just go to train with his team in American football.

Or he would try to get him to go out with him, treatening him with his weapons but Harry wasn't intimidated so easily.

« What is it, this time ? » He sighted. « You're no gonna put your gun or flamethrower right under my nose again, are you ? »

« No, this time, it's even better... I'll blackmail you into it !!!! » He smirked more and more as he slowly drawn something from his little black book of Blackmail.

« Oh and with what ? » Enquired Harry.

« This !!! » Answered Hiruma with a evil cackle.

« What ?!!! When ?!!! How ?!!! » Exclaimed a stuned and embarrassed Harry as he slowly took the pictures in his own hands.

« And don't think those are the only ones I got. I have many more as well as the negative. So will you go out with me or would those photo somehow find their ways in the hands of everyone. » He said.

« You wouldn't dare !! » He bellowed.

« Oh, really Harry, I thought you knew me better than that. You're answer ? » Hiruma drawled with a smirk, clearly enjoying the moment of what he thought would be Harry would finally become his.

« I'll give you my answer when you tell me how you came across those pictures. » Answered Harry.

« Guess. » The Devil's smirk widened even more.

Harry thought for a minute or two trying to remember who could have helped the Devil (as Hiruma couldn't certainly go through his wards). It had to be a wizard,.... someone that was very close to him,... that loves to embarrass him. And someone that want him to get laid...

« Sirius !!!!» He yelled in surprise and then softer he growled: « Sirius. »

« So you're answer now. » Demanded Hiruma

« Go to Hell !!! » Harry glared at him.

« I knew you would say that. »

With that Harry stalked to home to find Sirius and give him a piece of his mind.

_**The day after:**_

Everyone in school was quite startled when they saw photographies of the new exchanged student, Harry Potter wearing a dress as well as make-up.

For the first time since he was student at Deimon Hight School, Harry Potter was late getting to school and everyone could guess why. The poor boy had been bullied by Hiruma since he stepped foot into the school ground and today ridiculous pictures of the only one to ever deny Hiruma Yoichi wearing a girls' atire found their way into their homes. It was obviously a set-up made by Hiruma.

Hiruma himself was being chastity by a girl,Anezaki Mamori.

Suddenly, he smirked and stepped past her as he goes to welcome the new comer.

What they mistook at first glance to be a pretty girl was in fact the missing student and he wasn't alone.

« So Sirius, do you still find this funny? »

And then he lets go of the arm he was dragging a Sirius (in tight and short skirt, as well as hight heels) by.

Hiruma smirked and stalked toward Harry who was wearing effectively the school uniform, but not that of a boy.

« You know, it's only a round. I will win next time. » Drawled the Devil as he popped a bubble.

« You always say that. And we are at 2 victories for you and 20 for me. I'm not that easily conquered you know. » Exclaimed Harry victoriously.

Hiruma smirked.

« Of course, you're not, otherwise, I wouldn't be so enticed by you. »

« That good to know that you love me. »

« Oh , I certainly do love your body. You are even more sexy with those clothes on. I think you would make a wonderful cheerleader for our American Football team. » He said as he slowly walked away.

« You're jocking, right. » Asked an uneasy Harry.

The only answer he gots was a smirk full of lust.

« Oh, you, GO TO HELL!!! » Yelled Harry with a furious blush.

« Don't you dare forget, it's only a round, one day or another, I will win the game entirely, you'll see. » Was Hiruma's last answered.


	2. HarryUndertaker Kuroshitsuji

Disclaimer: Don't own anything! Otherwise Slashes would take over the world! Wahahaha! (laugh evilly)

Pairing : Harry/Undertaker.

**Dying sucks!**

Harry woke up suddenly. He was in a rather dark creepy room, naked. Cussing, Harry quickly found an old piece of fabric to cover himself and tried to remember the last thing he saws. There had been a evil clown as well as a very dangerous Snow White. Honestly. He couldn't really remember every details of his death but he knew that it had involved a spoon, a pink rubber duck and hot sauce as well as a lot of pain. It was disturbing enough that he remembered as much.

Then there had been that lion which had escape the locale zoo had decided that Harry was going to be his new chew toy. He was lucky he couldn't stay dead.

Well, okay lucky might not be the right word or he wouldn't have been mauled by a wild animal, been passed over by a trunk, a lawnmower and a bus a few time already. The one time he took a plane (private, mind you) it crashed and left him in the sahara desert. Okay, he did attract troubles but it wasn't his fault.

Those interesting deaths leaded him to meet one of the weirdest person he ever meets (which, considering he was a wizard who couldn't die, was an understatement). The Undertaker had long slivery hair which hid his eyes and a nearly permanent grin on his scared face. For those who didn't knew him very well he could be quite scary but Harry was not normal and had taken quite a liking to the much older (he is a soul reaper after all) man. One could also call it a crush.

He remember the first death he had meet the laughs-addict man. He had just died of receiving a thunderbolt and had awoken to see himself on the Undertaker's work table. The man had been delighted in seeing him, though a little disappointed that he wouldn't have a new customer that day.

Harry remembered the very words the Undertaker had uttered when he had seen that the very dead body he had received earlier had been brought back to life: «You are too fresh to be one of my new customers. How disappointing! And here I thought you were dead! Care to explain how it is that you are alive? » Had asked the Undertaker with a slight, if not a little homicidal and very much intimidating grin. And so, Harry had told the Soul Reaper everything about the hallows and their history. He might not be able to die but he could very well fell pain.

As he thought that, Harry was startled from his thoughts by their very subject, the Undertaker who had just open the door ajar and was already giggling madly.

« Hihihi! You have finally awoken. I was wondering how long it would take this time. Hihihi! » Said the Undertaker as he steped fully into the room.

« Hello, Undertaker. Care to tell me why I am naked? Asked Harry with slight annoyance. He was cold, damn it!

« Of course my dear Harry, but first you know the price. Hihihi! » Said Undertaker with a leery grin. Harry, already used to the Undertaker's way of asking for some jokes complied.

« What is red and green beside the road? » Started Harry.

« Hihihi! I don't know. What is it? Hihihi! » Asked the Undertaker, even though he must have heard it at least a few undred times.

« A squashed frog. » Harry answered. He had taken to studying jokes books in order to be prepared to the Undertaker's unusual wages and had narrowed down those useful (like this one for instance) using the sliver-haired man's interesting tastes.

The undertaker bursted out laughing. Harry just waited for him to calm down before asking his question once more.

« So why was I naked when I woke up? You know I have some spar clothes around here and that I would woke up at some point. »

« Hihihi! » The undertake was still so hight from his laugh that he had a hard time answering. « I just wanted to see you naked. You are quite beautiful, Harry. Full of old scars, never new ones. » Said the Undertaker still giggling madly. The Undertaker tooks one look at Harry's stunned face and burst out laughing once more.

When Harry heard the Undertaker's laugher, he felts his cheeks become hot with blood as he flushed quite brightly. Turning away from the Undertaker in embarasment, Harry decided to leave. Seeing that Harry was taking his laugher wrongly, the Undertaker tooks Harry's face between his long nailed hands cautiously and forced him to look at him.

«Now, Harry-dear. You can't leave now. I still have to repay you for that laugh you gave me earlier. » As Harry was starting to protest (not matter how very little), he felts the Undertaker's lips press on his own and bliss took him. Dying sucks...but with the Undertaker maybe not so much!

N/A : (grin) I know I should be working on my other words but...Well I couldn't stop myself! I hope you enjoyed it though! I am also currently working on a long Black Butler X Harry Potter crossover (I wrote two chapters already ^^) and I think I'll make a big update soon. Unfortunately I have a lot of homework nowadays.

Bye!


	3. HarryUndertakerGrell Kuroshitsuji

Disclaimer : Don't own anything! (Frown) If I did slashes would take over the world! (Grinned and laugh evilly *MUAHAHAHA!*)

Sequel of **Dying sucks!**

**Add Grell into the mix!**

Grell growled under his breath and muttered about annoying humans who wouldn't stay dead and the stupid Soul Reaper who had given holy objects to these fucking wizards all these centuries ago. The jerk was still under punition, his scythe had been withhold for the next undred years. The only thing he was allowed to use nowadays (and it had gotten better over the years) was a nail clippers.

The idiot man had not predicted that together, the objects (which weren't his to begin with) would give immortality to their owner. Now, the worse had happened and a mortal had come across every ones of the Fucking objects! If it wasn't bad enough, the mortal changed into immortal was not only a human but also a wizard. Those were an annoying bunch to deal with!

Pushing the door leading to the Undertaker little Coffin-shop open to get information, Grell smiled. He was glad to get to see the other Soul Reaper as he had quite a crush on him. Grell sighed dreamily and drooled a little thinking about those damned beautiful eyes the man would always hid behind those luscious slivery hair of his. If Grell wasn't drooling before, he certainly was so now that he thoughts about that. Hum...Yummy!

The red-haired Soul Reaper wasn't surprised to see that the place was empty bar for the coffin ominously propped against the wall in a dark corner where he knew the silver-haired man awaited most of his customers. Waiting a minute or two for the Undertaker to appear, Grell finally lost patience and opened the Coffin himself. He was surprised to see it empty.

Glancing around and trying to locate the Undertaker, Grell soon found himself in a room which was obviously the silver-haired Soul Reaper's bedroom if the rather big coffin/bed in the middle of the room was any indication. Grell blushed and giggled. Finally, he would see the love of his life (Okay one of the loves of his live! *Don't worry Sebba-Chan I have enough love to share for two of you!*) in sleeping attire or even better... naked. Yes!

Approaching the big coffin, Grell smiled perversely at what he was going to do. He readied himself and open the casket with swoosh. At first Grell stared dumbfounded at the sight which awaited him. Sure enough, there was the Undertaker...Even better, he was naked. There was something that bothered Grell though...It was the other man in the Undertaker's arms...Also naked. Both of them were sleeping soundlessly, their legs intertwined and obviously peaceful after a night of love-making.

"Undertaker! How could you? I thought I was the only Lady in your life! I loved you! (*and you as well Sebba-Chan! Don't worry! I'm not forgetting you!*)" Shrieked the red-haired 'lady', startling awake our two sleepers.

"Guh! What's wrong? What' s going on ?" Wondered a still sleepy Harry, snuggling deeper into the Undertaker.

"Hihihi! Nothing, Harry-dear. Want a cookie?" Asked the Undertaker as he reached for his coffin side table where a pot full of bone-shaped cookies was standing and offering one for Harry to take as he puts one in his mouth. All the while, Grell was staring at the Undertaker.

"Nothing? Nothing? Do I really mean nothing for you, Undertaker? How could you be so cruel? After all we've been through together!" Yelled the red-head dramatically, swooning and brooding in a corner.

Harry, now fully awake thanks to Grell's annoying and loud exclamations shoot irritated looks at the distraught 'lady' in the corner. Sighing loudly, Harry shrugged, puts some clothes on and went over to the man to try and see what was wrong with this new nut-case (not that he could say anything as he was dating a laugh-addict). Meanwhile, the Undertaker (who had clothed himself during Grell's pationnate speech) had left, unconcerned, to get some milk to go with their morning cookies.

"Hum... Excuse me...Are you alright?" Harry asked at the long-haired man who had his back turned to him. The other man suddenly whirled around to face Harry with an angry look, clearly ready to yell at him until he was blue in the face.

"Don't you dare talk to me you!...you...you..." Grell said the last 'you' dreamily. He, who had started screaming even before he had fully turned couldn't stop staring at the beautiful face in front of him, at a loss for words.

"What? I what?" Questioned Harry confused and exasperated.

"I love you!" With that the red-haired Soul Reaper launched himself at Harry to pull him into a bone-crushing hug. "Will you marry me?" the annoying man who had woke him up and was yelling at him just a few seconds ago was now looking at him with stars-filled eyes and a toothy smile full of very sharp fangs. It was definitively creepy. And even more so now that he saw the chainsaw at the other's feet.

"Eerr..." Harry didn't knew what to say to the seriously mentally-challenged man before him as he didn't wanted to make him mad for fear of a lots of pain. Seeing that the Undertaker had returned and was happily munching on one of his bone-shaped cookies between cackles of laughs at his situation. Jerk. "Undertaker! A little help, please!" Screamed Harry when he felts one of Grell' hands sneak down to squeeze one of his buttocks.

Harry felt relieved when he saw that the Undertaker, albeit still laughing was coming to get him away from the perverted psychopath. Hiding behind his silver-haired lover, Harry saw the red-head get up and readied himself for another attack but the man only smiled his disturbing leery grin as he looks the two of them over.

"Hey guys, care to try for a threesome?" Finally said the dangerous and clearly insane man in red. Harry sweat-dropped while the Undertaker just lost it and laughed even harder.


	4. HarryOMC Transformers

Hello dear readers, I had a big problem with my computer, it doesn't work anymore and it lost all my hard work! (*cry*) Just two minutes before I was going to put my new chapters on Fanfiction! I had just finished some things and had worked hard on a new story (I had written 3 chapters!) when it went crazy!

Moreover (just to show how lucky I am (yeah right!), my father (who is quite good with computers) left just the day before and I won't see him for at least three months! Luckily, one of my brothers (I have quite a few) is also quite good with technology and should be coming in one month time. Until then, I'll try to re-write those chapters lost, which could be hard, considering I don't have my very own computer anymore and my exams are coming up soon...

Well, anyway, this short oneshot was inspired by this misadventure of mine and I hope you like it and it's not too crazy.

**Magic VS Technology :**

Harry had always heard from his friends how magic and technology couldn't mix. He had thought that it meant that things like phones, computers and others simply stopped working or exploded when there was too much magic in one place.

This…was mostly true. If the object in question had been put under small doses of magic regularly, it became use to it and cant withheld more and more after a while. However, if it was drowned into a lot of magical energy without being use to it beforehand, it had a tendency to stop working altogether. If the magic in question was wilder… angrier…Well, things were most likely to explode.

So, when Harry bought a computer home one day, thinking that as he was living by himself in a muggle area, there wouldn't be any problems, he was seriously wrong. It might have work for any other witches or wizards but Harry was very powerful….Powerful enough to be the first wizards ever to seep his magic, slowly but surely into his laptop.

Then, it started to show signs of malfunctioning, that something was wrong….Definitively wrong with it but Harry was obvious to it all.

It started with the laptop being one even though Harry knew he had turned it off, then there were some things he didn't remember having on his computer, things appearing like music, movies, books….Some rather embarrassing, still, it was alright.

But one couldn't stay obvious forever. No when his computer decided to take human shape and to try to woo him, Harry decidedly noticed that part of the story. The avatar of his computer was quite handsome with his silver hair and big muscles but he was also naked and seriously freaking Harry out.

Just as the man-computer leaned in to steal a kiss from him, Harry yelped and scrambled away, swearing to himself to never mess around with technology ever again. Last thing he wanted was a car of a TV set in love with him.

A week later, after having unsuccessfully tried to get rid of his amorous laptop, Harry met a giant robot with the ability to shape shift into a police car named Barricade. The Decepticon wouldn't stop eyeing him and mumbling under his breath things about "sparks".

All the while his own computer, which insist on being called Mec, short for Magically Enhanced Computer (and it means guy in French) was clutching Harry tightly and sending glares toward the obvious decepticon.

This is the real reason why magic and technology don't mix!

A/N : I hope you liked it!

Darkfarie, I'm working on a HP X LOTR oneshot right now. I had written half of it when my computer crashed so now, I'm working on paper before typing it. It's not very serious (like most of my works actually) and I hope you'll like it.

Bye! Until next time!


	5. HarryHiruma2 Eyeshield21

A/N: Hello! I know I promised you a HP X LOTR next (and it is already started) but this little one decided to pop up unasked and…well I couldn't keep it to me.

I still don't have a laptop of my own and I am still in exam period so the updates will be slow coming. However, one of my big brother should be coming next week and as he is quite efficient with new technology, he'll try to either fix my little laptop (which would be great)or at least help me recover my lost files (which contains my fanfictions). So…we'll see what will happen next week.

This can be seen as a sequel to the first chapter or independently…Well, enough taking: enjoy!

The sun was shinning, the birds were singing melodiously and there was no cloud to be seen in the clear blue sky of Deimon High School. The approach of the summer was clearly high in the air. Still, there was a shadow to this little perfect world named Hiruma, the Devil of Deimon High School.

Hiruma frowned as he remarked that people were more exited and happy. It disgusted him.

Some students were kissing quite obviously under a tree while he couldn't even convince Harry to go on a date. They were all cheerful. Too cheerful for Hiruma's taste anyway. That annoying Agon had started to try and woo his Harry even though he knew he was Hiruma's...Well, perhaps not yet but soon.

And even though Hiruma knew that Agon didn't even have the sightless chance with Harry, that didn't mean that he had to like it. Moreover, Agon knew that Hiruma was serious about Harry and it made the smaller teen even more irristible for Agon.

Hiruma growled and watched as some students passed by him, laughing as they splashed one another with their bottles of water. Seeing, their clothing's becoming transparent as well as sticking to their bodies; Hiruma suddenly had an idea on how to get Harry for himself at least once.

Harry was nervous. It has already been a few hours since either Agon or Hiruma had annoyed him. A record for him. Usually, they would bother him until he would kick them both. He was suspicious. Very suspicious in fact because he knew that it was the calm before the storm.

Suddenly something splashed him from behind as he heard the tell-tale yell of "Ya-Ha!" from the spiky blond devil. The wet spot on his pants' buttocks was proof enough of what happened.

"Nice shot!" smirked Hiruma from behind a tree, holding in his hands a very sophisticated water gun which looked like the real thing.

"What?" Asked Harry, confused.

"I thought it would be obvious…I am holding a water war against you, Princess!" Replied hiruma with a grin, preparing to fire water at Harry again only for the other to dodge skilfully.

"That's not fair!" Yelled Harry, dodging and running away from the psychopath infatuated with him. "I didn't know we were at war! And I am not armed!"

"If I were to start a war I wouldn't declare it openly, it would start with a surprise attack. Moreover, all is fair in love and war, Princess, you, above all, should know it."

"Bastard!" Shouted Harry as he was splashed once again, this time on his right shoulder. Harry was rather fast but Hiruma was more used to sports than him. And this little fact was even more obvious now that he was chasing Harry around with water gun.

"You shouldn't waste your breath to swear, dear!" Cackled Hiruma with glee at the sight of his "dear" Harry nearly wet from head to toes.

Suddenly the other boy stopped running and turned arround. So suddenly in fact, that Hiruma, who had been running after him at high speed and had not seen this coming, ran into him, stumbling. Something very unusual for him.

If Hiruma had not been surprised by this, the fact that Harry *Princess* Potter was now hugging tightly would have done the trick. The smaller teen had always done his best to escape from Hiruma and now he was hugging him as if he was a friend or…a lover. Hiruma4s brain couldn't seem to comprehend this information and his body moved of its own accord as he puts his hands on Harry's hips to keep him in place.

Suddenly, it occurred to Hiruma that he was very wet where Harry was now hugging him and he could fell a little hand trying to sneak into the bag full of water guns on his back.

He jerked Harry away from him, but it was already too late…Harry had gotten his hands on a one of his water guns.

Moving quickly, they were both holding each other at gun point. The scene seems to slow down as if in a western movie as they started to shot water at each other all the while running around.

When, they finally had enough and were wet to the bones, they settle for a few minutes to rest from this exertion near the Football Team's training ground.

Lying on the ground, shoulder by shoulder next to Harry, Hiruma smirked as he admired the way Harry's cloths were sticking to his thin form, his white shirt transparent and how water drops mixed with sweat would slide down his brows to his cheeks, his shin and then his neck before disappearing into its crook under his shirt.

Hiruma's stem of thought was interrupted by Harry sneezing.

It would seem that, even though it was sunny, the younger teen would be sick if he didn't change clothes immediately. More importantly though, it would provide a good excuse for Hiruma to undress Harry.

Harry, seemingly reading Hiruma's thoughts bolted up and would have started to run had not Hiruma jump on him to keep him down as they both struggle. Harry to get free. Hiruma to get him to undress.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Yelled Harry as Hiruma tore open his shirt before sending it flying far away.

"Come on Harry, you don't want to be sick, do you? We have to get you out of those wet and cold cloths before they get to you." Smirked Hiruma above Harry.

"Go to Hell!"

"Now now Harry, that's not a very nice thing to say to someone trying to help you."

"Fuck you!"

"Don't worry; we'll have time for that…Princess."

Their bickering and fighting lasted for quite some time and it shifted to the locker rooms of the American Football team and then in Hiruma's personal office as Harry was practically naked. They stayed over an hour there.

As they left, both of them grinning, you could see that Harry was wearing cloths which definitively belonged to Hiruma as his owns had been destroyed by the blond devil during their "fights".

"That was great!" Said Harry, still a little wet and out of breath.

"Yeah." Nodded Hiruma.

"We should do it again soon." Added Harry.

"Of course." Was Hiruma's answer.

"Tomorrow?" Inquired Harry.

"Definitively, Princess." Acquiesced Hiruma with a smirk before stealing Harry a kiss.

"Bastard!" Exclaimed the smaller teen, playfully hitting Hiruma hard on the arm and running away before the other could retaliate. Hiruma's shark like grin only widened as he looked at Harry's retreating back. He had won this round, 11 to 25.

He was beginning to catch up. And when he would beat Harry (because there was not doubts to him that he would), he would have the little green eyed spitfire as his forever.

This little oneshot was written in less than two days (I enjoyed a day of rest from my exams and did this little story)I leave what they did in Hiruma's office to your imagination, guys!

This little plot was born from a water fight I had with my brother I law, nephew and niece. I was all alone with only a bottle of water while they all had very sophisticate water guns. I have no shame in admitting my defeat when I was wet from head to toes and nearly cracked my skull on a wall because I was running and I slipped. ^^

I hope you liked this little oneshot and that Hiruma and Harry were not too much OCC for your taste. I enjoyed writing it.

Ja-ne!

Chocolaolic.


	6. HarryAragornslight LOTR

A/N: Well, here is the little oneshot on HP X LOTR I promised a while ago. I found a summer job so I might take a little more time to update. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

Gandalf glanced at the strange thing in his hands as the people around him, the council was arguing among themselves to know who would go on this big adventure to destroy The One Ring. Unfortunately, they were getting nowhere and Gandalf knew that it wouldn't be long until Frodo proposed himself to go on such a dangerous mission as the bearer of such a big burden that was the Ring of Power.

Before the smaller being could open his mouth, though, Gandalf The Grey had already risen and bellowed:

"Quiet!"

As every member of the councils calmed down and turned to him, Gandalf smiled.

"Now that I can speak I have to tell you great news. There is no need for any of us to fight to know who will be a part of this expedition for no one will need to do so."

"What do you mean, Gandalf?" Asked Elrond, intrigued and confused.

"The Valar appeared to me in my dream tonight. They gave me precise instruction to make a ritual which would bring a weapon powerful enough to destroy the ring of power and get rid of Sauron here." Answered Gandalf.

"Something more powerful than Sauron and his ring?" Asked Boromir, interested in the powerful weapon which could be used to defend his country.

"Would it really work?"Asked a dwarf.

"What is this ritual?" Asked Elrond, "Is it dangerous?"

"It's very complex." Said Gandalf with a grin. "So….Shall we do it anyway?"

"Of course. If the Valar said that it would ensure our victory, do it. "

"The Valar also said that it might be dangerous for our mental wealth."

"If we don't do anything soon we are lost anyway, so do it." Elrond said trying to ignore a dwarf who was muttering under his breath "What mental wealth?"

"Alright." Smirking, Gandalf pulled out of his pocket a strange rectangular box on which were round things with inscriptions on them. In his other hand, Gandalf held a piece of paper on which the Valar had written the instructions for the ritual. He was to take the rectangular thing (they called it a felitone or something like that) and push some of the round things in the same order that they were written on the paper. Then, he had to put it on the ground and take some steps back.

Reading the paper out loud, Gandalf smile, pleased to see the incredulous stares he was gathering from his audience.

"This ….is your complex ritual?" Asked Elrond, stunned.

"Of course. I don't understand any of those caracters so it was quite complex."

"..."

For once, everyone agreed on something (even the elves and dwarfs). 'He is becoming crazy.'

"And now what, Gandalf?"

"Now we wait and see. Don't you sense it all around you? Can't you hear it's immortal song of never ending power? It's in the air all around us."

And it was true. A small wind had started to pick up from nowhere and was ruffling the leaves in the trees. It wasn't a natural wind at all. And with it came the music. Just like Gandalf had described. The whola place was thrumming with power.

Everything was growing fast, the wind faster and wilder, the music louder and the weight of power stronger. By now even the most hardened warriors were covering their faces as a tornado started gathering where the little black Felitone had been. It became so thigh that it became a wall full of dirt, leaves, feathers and any other things the wind managed to pck up. The poor dwarfs and hobbits had to hold on tight onto anything in their vicinity to avoid being sucked into the vortex.

All at once, everything calmed down. The music was not longer deafening, the wing wasn't so wild anymore and the level of power which could be felt was reduced by a small fraction.

As everyone felt everything calm down, they felt safe enough to open their eyes (some dwarfs and elves stunned and embarrassed to find themselves holding onto one another). Turning their heads toward the place where the small rectangular thing had been, they were stunned to see an eternal being. It was obvious due to his round ears that he wasn't an elf and yet he seemed otherworldly.

The being in question was a small black-haired man with very pale skin. He didn't seem to be very threatening as the adjectives used to describe him would be more like cute, petite, and otherworldly than dangerous or anything really. Thus, it came as no surprise that the council thought that the big black ...thing the boy was currently ridding was the powerful weapon they managed to summon.

The small man was so beautiful that he had unknowingly bewitched most of people in the meeting when he opened his emerald green eyes. The spell was broken when the eternal being started frowning and swearing up a storm. After a while, the creature stopped, left his mount and faced them with a very false smile.

"Greetings, Ladies (he glanced at the elves as he said that) and gentlemen. My name is Harry. Might I ask why you called me? A treasure need to be found, a world need to be saved, a dark lord need to be killed? Just tell me what your emergency is and I'll see what I can do."

"You! You are the all powerful weapon able to get rid of the dark Lord in a few seconds?" Boromir asked incredulously.

"Yes. Oh Merlin, how I hate when they ask this sort of question...Look, I may not look like it but I can kick your ass easily."

"Prove it."

Harry just took out one of the guns he always had on him and fired at a big rock which crumbled into little pieces as soon as the magical bullet hit it. And to mark his point even more Harry transformer the little pieces of rock into a pie.

While everyone was staring at him in wonder, Harry bent down to pick a part of pie and started eating it.

"Hum, delicious." Harry hummed happily while everyone was staring incredulously at him.

Gandalf, the ever mad one decided to see for himself if the pe was really that good.

"Hum *Munch Munch* Quite good. I never tasted something quite like that before. You'll have to give me the recipe."

"It's a simple banana and chocolate pie. I don't know if those things exist in this universe but for a small fee, I might bring some so that you can start growing them here."

"Good idea. We should start it as soon as you have taken care of the Dark Lord."

"Yeah, but first I would like to discuss my fees. You can understand that this is not free as it is not my own world and thus I don't really care if all of you die. I choose to do this job because it's what I do best (bar baking but it was a little too much boring for me) but I can't do it for free."

"How much do you want?"

"I don't really know right now. Money is such a boring way of getting paid. I'll tell you when I find out. It might take years (some of my ancient costumers are still waiting and it has been years already)."

Suddenly, a song started from the mad man's pocket.

_'I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy_

_Just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty_

_When I'm out with my girls I always play a bit bitchy_

_Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me_

_I'm the kind of girl that girls don't like_

_I'm the kind that boys fantasize_

_I'm the kind that your momma and your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like_

_I may seem unapproachable but that's only to the boys who don't have the_

_Right a approach or ride that makes a girl like me wanna hop in and roll_

_People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent.'_

The song would have continued if Harry had not picked the same black box which brought him here from one of his pockets. Sighting, the young man put the contraption against his ear and started talking.

"Hello, Ginny...Yes I have another mission...Yes, there are hot guys where I am... No, you can't come...Just another Dark Lord, nothing to worry about... No, for the last time, Ginny. I won't take one or two of those men back with me as my fee...I don't care if you want to get laid. Bye! See you soon." Said Harry to the feltone.

"Now, where was I?" He said turning back to his public.

"What was that?" Blurted out an elf.

"If you're talking about that (he held the mobile up), then it's a phone. It allows me to talk to someone far away. Considering my job, I changed it magically so that it would be able to cross dimensions. Now, if you're talking about Ginny, that's my ex. She is raving mad and the ringtone I use for her describe her beautifully."

"Your ex?" Grunted an dwarf.

"When a couple break up and go different ways." Explained Harry patiently.

"So you're going to take care of the dark Lord? Right now?" Asked one of the humans, putting things back on tracks.

"Of course, if I don't do that now, when will I?"

"Do you need anything?" Asked Elrond.

"Just tell me what's going on and I'll do what I have to do."

An hour later...

"So, let me get this straight. A dark Lord created a few rings, one of which hold his powers and allow him to live as long as the ring is not destroyed (which can only be done by the volcano in which it was created by the way). And a rather powerful wizard decided to ally with him and together they created a army of flesh-eating monsters. Is that it?"

" Basically, yes."

"Okay. Is anyone interested in accompanying me there? I don't really know the way and as I never went there I can't appearate. We'll just drop the ring into the volcano and perhaps have some fun with those Orcs of yours and come back. See, easy."

"How do you plan to get there so easily?"

"I'll just use my motorcycle. It'll be as easy as pie. So who want to go with me?"

"Your...motorcycle? What is that?"

Harry motioned behind him, the big black thing he had been riding when he had appear out of thin air.

"This is my motorcycle. As you can see I have only one other seat available." the man said with a shrug.

Aragorn stepped out of the crowd and proposed to accompany him there just before everyone else. Harry smiled at him and motioned for him to get to the motorcycle.

"Well, at least you're hot." Harry said as he mounted the motorcycle, waiting for Aragorn to get behind him on the seat. Aragorn followed Harry's suite more carefully, still uneasy.

"You should hold onto me before we go or you might fall and injure yourself." Harry said as he put Aragorn's hands on his waist with a smirk. Harry didn't wait for anyone to say anything as he started his engine, scaring a few birds into leaving and making everyone take a step back as the motorcycle started to levitate before leaving so fast that after a few seconds they were nothing more than a little patch on the sky.

"Well, that's it. The war is finished." Gandalf said with a smile.

A/N : It's just silly. I hope you like it and thanks for reading!

Omake:

"How do you plan to get there so easily?"

"I can use my motorcycle but there wouldn't be enough places for everyone. Who want to go see a Dark Lord die?"

Practically every hands shot up.

"Well, that's a lot of people. Fortunately, I brought my magical pouch with me." With a wave of his wand Harry reduced his motorcycle and put it in the bag. Not taking his arm (which was shallowed whole) from the bag, Harry puts his entire head inside and didn't leave until five minutes later, after finding what he was searching for.

"Haha! There it is!" Harry was waving a small thing around too fast for anyone to see what it was.

A few minutes later, the whole council was crowed inside a rather big car (not that they knew what it was) thanks to a extension spell.

"Put your seatbelt on, everyone! Don't want to have an accident."

And they were off to see the End of a Dark Lord.


	7. HarryUndertakerGrell? Kuroshitsuji

Hi! I know it have been months since last update but I am doing my Master right now and so I have been really very busy! ^^ I wanted to send something at least for my birthday. So, here it is. I hope you'll enjoy!

_**And then, they were three…and the cake!**_

Harry hummed happily as he removed the baked cake from the oven. The chocolate coating which would cover it was still boiling in a saucepan. Harry was busy preparing the cream which would be inside the cake when he heard his doorbell ring.

Too busy to go there at the moment, he couldn't help but growl as he heard the person behind the door push the ringing button over and over again. He wondered briefly who could be so annoying as to do this sort of things (unfortunately the list was depressively long).

"I'm coming!" He yelled as he washed his hands covered in cream.(A/N: Am I the only one who was thinking something pervy here? It wasn't intentional at all! ^^)

A loud giggle and a singing voice coming from behind the door saying: "Harry-Kins, dear! Open the door, sweetie!" were proof enough of who had decided to disturb him while he was cooking. It was obviously a surprised visit from his own lover, Undertaker, and his new stalker, Grell Sutcliff.

"Harry-Pooh, we know you're here so open your door now or we'll destroy it." Continued Grell.

"Shut up Grell! You red-haired psycho! You can wait a few seconds for me to finish what I am doing right now." Replied Harry from the kitchen as he made sure the chocolate coating was off the fire before leaving the room to welcome his visitors.

There was a very loud noise which suspiciously sounded like a saw chain starting. Just as Harry was going to open the door, Grell started destroying it with delight while the Undertaker was holding onto his stomach from laughing too much.

Thankfully, Harry had a lot of reflexes thanks to Quidditch and his many deaths, managed to escape from the saw chain's way and stepped back otherwise it would have hurt like Hell.

"Grell! You bastard! Didn't I told you last time to stop destroying my doors!"

"Aww, Harry! You know you love me. You're just too shy to admit it. Don't worry; I have enough love for you, Undertaker and Sebby too, of course." Said Grell as he stepped into the house over the remains of the door.

Harry looked at pieces of door grumpily. This one had lasted a week at least. More than any other doors since Grell had decided to stalk him and to invite himself into Harry's relationship with the Undertaker.

Sighting, Harry muttered under his breath:

"Rest In Peace dear door and go join your fallen fellow brothers and sisters doors in doors' heaven."

Unfortunately, his little prayer for his fallen door was overheard by the Undertaker who cackled with glee and kissed Harry on the lips as he passed by him to get inside.

Harry, in a daze, noted happily that his neighbour, Aunt Petunia was sending him disgusted and disgruntled looks. Harry smirked and waved happily at her as he turned to follow his two intruders. This was one of the reasons he didn't quite mind Undertaker's and Grell's visits, to fuck with his aunt and other people on Privet Drive 's minds.

It might seem quite unlike him as the Saviour (and thus someone who should be forgiving) but he had decided to annoy those who scorned him as a child. Vengeance is a dish best served cold, after all. Now, if only Grell would stop destroying his doors!

Turning toward Grell, Harry sighed as he asked:

"Why are you constantly after me? Don't you have something else to do? Like...I don't know...Work, perhaps? And who is this Sebby you are always talking about?"

As they entered the living room, Grell went to his favourite armchair and sat down with a flourish. The undertaker grabbed Harry from behind, distracting him with delicious kisses along the neck, and managed to manoeuvre him so that he would sit on a love chair with Harry on his lap. Harry didn't complain.

"Why? Are you jealous, Harry? Sebby is a real sex God (I wouldn't go for any less). Unfortunately, he is still after that little brat, Ciel Phantomhive. Moreover you'll be happy to know that I am working right now."

"Yeah? And what do you do bar annoying me?"

"He was ordered to capture or look after you." Said the Undertaker with a grin, petting Harry's hair.

"What? When I will get my hands on the asshole who gave him that order, he'll wish..." Grumbled Harry, the rest of his sentence drowned by Grell and the Undertaker's hysterical laughter.

"Shut up." Muttered Harry as he blushed bright red, trying to get off the Undertaker's lap as he struggled with his embarrassment. The undertaker stopped laughing but still grinned, kept his hold on his lover's frame until Harry calmed down.

Then, he tooks his lover's face between his hands and kissed him deeply so that Harry, at the end of the kiss would have totally forgotten that he was angry with him. It was also a very nice way to do it.

And true to his prediction, as at the end of the kiss Harry looked at him with a silly grin as he touched the red plump lips the Undertaker had ravaged so thoughtfully.

All the while, Grell was drooling over the whole scene and profited from Harry's daze to kiss him on the lips too...Something which definitively woke Harry up as he kicked the red-head into a wall away from him.

"Don't touch me! I only allowed Undertaker to do that sort of things!" Screamed Harry.

"Hum, yummy! You tasted so great!" Said Grell, licking his lips.

"You remarked too?" Asked Undertaker, a hand held up to cover his grin. "Tasted like chocolate and nuts."

"Undertaker! Shouldn't you protest when someone else molest me?" Questioned Harry with a frown.

"Not when they are this hot." Answered Undertaker with a sing song voice.

Harry just growled to show his displeasure.

"Now that I think about it, what were you doing before our so lovely interruption that would require you to taste like chocolate and nuts?" Grell wondered.

"Guess." Said Harry, sticking out his tongue at both Shinigamies. Tongue which was promptly captured again by a happy Undertaker. At the end of the kiss(Undertaker was one Hell of a kisser), a dazed Harry answered like a robot:

"I was testing out a new recipe for my Godson's birthday party next week."

"A cake, really?" Questioned Undertaker gleefully. "Do you need some assistance? I am a really good baker...My favourites are bones shaped cookies."

"Well, if you want..."

"Of course I do."

"Well, don't expect me to help you around or eat some of it because I won't." Exclaimed Grell, theatrically.

Harry looked at him blankly before nodding.

"Great."

However, Grell didn't seem to have taken any notice of his reaction because he kept going.

"If I don't cook, it's not because I don't know how or something like that, it's because I don't want to embarrass you by doing much better than you."

"Okay."

"And, if I don't eat any of those sweet things it's not because I want to stay fit and fear I will get fat...It's just because I don't like sugar. That's all."

"Alright."

"Okay, now that everything is clear we can go on into the kitchen."

"Right." The Undertaker was giggling madly at Harry's annoyed tone.

As they drew nearer the kitchen, Harry noted that he had forgotten to turn off the music he was listening while cooking and had by now changed song and was thus playing Love me dead from Ludo( I love that song!^^).

"Hum...great song." Commented Grell.

"Err...Thanks. Undertaker got me hooked on this one.*1*" Said Harry, uncomfortably.

"And what do we have here?" Asked the Undertaker as he pressed closer to the counter where the three parts of the cake were waiting to be assembled.

"It's not finished."

"If you promise me a treat later, I'll help you finish it."

"No thanks. I'm fine without help."

At the precise moment he said that, as if just to counter his words, Grell, who had taken the unfinished cake for further examination managed, somehow to break it in half. It wouldn't have been so bad if the other half of the cake hadn't fallen on the floor, ending into a heap of cake pieces.

"Grell." Growled Harry.

"So do you need help?" Asked Undertaker.

"Thanks. We'll use the part of the cake he didn't screw up." Sighed Harry while Grell looked sheepish.

Ten minutes later the cake was finished, Grell was bored and a bit of nut cream and chocolate coating was unused (as they only had half the cake).

"You know Harry, you should wear an apron lest you get dirty." Mentioned Undertaker out of nowhere.

"Don't worry. I practically never get dirty while cooking (otherwise I would have been punished by my aunt)." Said Harry, focused on cutting pieces of cakes and then putting whipped cream on them.

"Oh? What a shame. Don't you think so too, Undertaker." Asked Grell with a very big grin as he shared a malicious look with the Undertaker behind Harry's back.

"Yes, I have to admit I quite agree with you." Replied the Undertaker taking the bowl full of nut cream while Grell took the chocolate coating.

"What do you...mean." Asked Harry as he turned around to see that they were armed to start a food fight while he was weapon less.

He backed away from them nervously. Finally felling the counter press onto his back, he looked at their grinning face and from the corner of his eyes saw the can of whipped cream he was using earlier.

With lighting fast gestures, he snatched it but not before they threw some of the cream and chocolate on him. Harry retaliated by hitting them with whipped cream.

Thus started the First Food Fight (FFF) which was won by no one in particular because at the end of it everyone was covered from head to toes by sweet delicacies.

William Spears was not having a good day so far. That annoying good for nothing Grell Sutcliff was not doing his job. He was going to have to kick the other's ass.

It was his fault he was there in this street where every houses bar one were the same. Thankfully, the one house he was searching was the odd one in the street. It was bigger and it was an interesting mix of colours and it looked more like a manor than a house. It seemed to dwarf every other houses in its vicinity.

Seeing that the door of this particular house was destroyed, he didn't bother knocking and just stepped inside. He had to admit that he was impressed with the place despite himself. That's it until he entered the kitchen where he saw something which made him lost his calm composure.

There, right before him, laying on the floor with his target and the Undertaker, all of them covered in strange sticky mixtures he didn't want to identify at all, lest it was something naughty( Will, you pervert!^^) was his co-worker, Grell Sutcliff.

"Grell Sutcliff! What do you think you are doing? I thought I told you to take care of your target! Not to have sex with them! And you even managed to get the famous Undertaker mix in with your shenanigans!"

"To tell you the truth, Will, Undertaker is the one having sex with Harry here. I'm still trying to get into their pants." Remarked Grell casually.

"Wait wait wait! You! You're the one who sent this psycho after me?" Questioned Harry angrily.

"Well I did ..." Began William, readjusting his glasses thanks to his spear but be was cut off by Harry swearing at him.

Then the only "human" in the kitchen did something which had never been done to William before. He took one of the pieces of cake waiting to be consumed on the counter to squash it on William's face.

"Eat that! Fucker!" Said Harry as the other man used a handkerchief to wipe most of the cake from him face. A small piece of it remains on the corner of his mouth so he decided to lick it.

"Hum...Delicious..."

Harry and the others stared at him for his un-Williamish behavior(even Harry could tell that it was a man with something stuck in his behind).

And then, there were three people after Harry's ass...And the cake...Must not forget the cake!

A/N:

*1*: It's true. The Undertaker got ME hooked on this song as I discovered it on Youbube thanks to a small video of the Undertaker. ^^


End file.
